NO HOLDS BARRED
Raja Petra Kamarudin
Today, 1st April 2010, is April Fools’ Day. And in the light-hearted spirit of April Fools’ Day, many jokes and hoaxes were played on Malaysians.
The first April Fools’ Day hoax was the reported sightings of Raja Petra Kamarudin all over London. Many photographs were sent in to support the allegation of RPK sightings and Malaysia Today has published below just some of those many photographs the readers sent in.
This hoax is probably in response to the Malaysian government’s report yesterday about how Raja Petra a.k.a. RPK escaped to Thailand and then to London through Langkawi. It was reported that RPK spent one month in Phuket, most of the time on Bangla Road, home of Thailand’s ‘lady boys’. Why RPK needed to spend one month in the land of the ‘lady boys’ is certainly open to speculation unless he….hmmmm…..let’s say no more about this matter…..
The Honorary Royal Thai Consul in Langkawi, Datuk Shazryl Eskay Abdullah, swore in the name of Allah that he never issued RPK any travel papers to enable him to leave Malaysia and enter Thailand. However, it is not known whether this oath can be considered legitimate since it was never sworn over the Quran in the Kuala Lumpur Mosque, the same mosque where Saiful swore that Anwar Ibrahim had buggered him.
The second April Fools’ Day hoax involved Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno. A joke report and probably an April Fools’ Day hoax was carried by the mainstream newspaper that said Kartika had been pardoned by the Sultan of Pahang and would no longer need to suffer the punishment of caning for drinking beer.
Muslim fundamentalists argue that the punishment of caning for the crime of drinking is God’s law and only God or those above God can change these laws. It is not known, therefore, whether this would mean, if the Sultan of Pahang did ‘change the law’ as reported, that he considers himself above God, or that the report about Kartika being exempted from the caning punishment is an April Fools’ Day hoax after all.
The third April Fools’ Day hoax is the report that the Deputy Prime Minister, Muhyiddin Yassin, declared he is Malay first and Malaysian second. It is believed that this is the first move in many to open the way for Muhyiddin to challenge Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak for the Presidency of Umno.
As part of this campaign, Muhyiddin’s supporters are currently going round the country and are telling the Umno grassroots that Najib is not real Malay but is in fact Bugis. Najib’s supporters are retaliating by saying that Muhyiddin is also not Malay but Javanese. This would make Ibrahim Ali the only true Malay and therefore the most likely candidate for the next Prime Minister of Malaysia.
This would probably be next year’s April Fools’ Day joke that the government plays on Malaysians -- Ibrahim Ali becoming the next Prime Minister of Malaysia. In fact, the government has been playing April Fools’ Day jokes on Malaysians since 1957. Since Merdeka in 1957, Malaysia has never had a true-blue Malay as Prime Minister. It has either been Thai, Turkish, Bugis or Indian, but never Malay. The only real Malay Prime Minister that Malaysia ALMOST had was Ghafar Baba, but he only managed to become the Deputy Prime Minister and never quite made Prime Minister.
Well, we have about six hours more to go before 1st April ends so stay tuned for more April Fools’ Day jokes and hoaxes from the Malaysian government before the day ends.
REPORTED SIGHTINGS OF RPK ALL OVER LONDON
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